1. Dont make any new friends and alienate those you have: To those insensitive people who try to drag you towards light, extend a cold shoulder and a well-deserved gibe or two. “Wanna watch a movie?” “oh a free ticket and nobody to call?”, “Come to the beach!” “why? is it the tsunami again?”.
If they trick you into meeting a new person, complement the newbie generously and ask in the end how he deals with his big nose or whether her attitude is what keeps her successfully single.
2. Stay away from any sort of public interest : and criticise generously. Cricket? money-making game. Social networks? for the job-less, dating? for the desperate.
3. Turn to your neighbour : for complaints. Tell them their music is too loud, the colour of their paint exudes an evil aura, her son/husband/daughter is stalking u etc.
4. Play the blame game : Your colleague is intruding your privacy, boss doesn’t like you because you don’t laugh at his jokes, your hubby is so much a mamma’s boy or your girlfriend obstinately stands in your career path.
5. Dont give others a chance to love you: Mix a large bowl of self-pity, add some deep-fried narcism and serve yourself with a dash of blown-up attitude. Sit back and enjoy this recipe for a long and lonesome grumpy life.
Note: Above is an article on a sarcastic vein and follow it at your own risk.