No I’m not a stranger to getting lost in the neighborhood or subways or the mall! Nope. Not new. In fact when it comes to the drill, I am quite an expert. Check Google Maps. If that doesn’t help (which in most of my cases it doesn’t because hello! who charges phone!), follow Plan B – ask just about anybody who is not in an intimate relationship with his/her phone.
But the matter took quite an interesting turn on The Day I Forgot My Phone Inside Office.
Preface goes like this. Newbie in the city, no access card at work yet, lift works only with an access card. (I almost wrote ‘life works..’ and thought to myself ‘Hmm… food for thought’). That fateful day watched me skippity-hopping out of office after work leaving my phone behind. It was not until I came to Tim Hortons’ free wi-fi zone that I remembered my constant companion who is constantly getting lost. I hurried back to the lift lobby where my sorry state of affairs made such smooth an appearance, it evokes to one’s mind, similar style of entry given by a famous Jeeves into the parlor of Mister Wooster.
My colleagues, no surprise here, were still at work. I could call and ask them to save my phone from a night of solitude if only I had my phone to call – because after all which silly remembers numbers or when your mother’s birthday is when you own a smart phone, huh?
Once the lift arrives, I put my best foot forward, check my hair in the mirror and press button to my floor singing “Man eater” under my breath. Nothing happens. Tune dies. I check the button and press again. Nada. I press all buttons. Nope. Is the lift broke or something? When switching lifts didn’t help, I wait inside a lift for divine intervention and as if by magic, the lift door closes and starts moving up. It stops a few floor above mine and opens to let a man in. He watches me frantically pressing button to my floor when the lift is happily whizzing downwards to the car park. He empathizes and explains the deal – you need an access card to use lift after working hours- but draws a line when I ask him if I can use his access card and rightfully so. But he does provide me with a cheat sheet. Use fire exit.
So I jump out at the next floor stupid lift decides to stop, thank my stars, pull open a fire exit and start the climb. Four floors up and I pull the door with a heave of relief. Nothing happens. I notice a tiny access card reader blinking myopically and taking in my face which by now is convulsing with exasperation. I turn around and take a good look at my situation. I am trapped inside the fire exit between floors which read only access cards to let you inside the building. Those closed doors to freedom did nothing to stop the fast zooming in possibility of spending a cold, dark night with a flurry closing in like the villain in a movie. Scenes from ‘127 hours’ flash by and I don’t even have a phone to shoot my survival and become rich and famous via YouTube!
I start climbing down the stairs with nothing better to do and to scare rats, if they are watching me by now and sharpening knives. On one of the floors, I come to a board saying “Welcome to heaven”! Not really. It said “This door is unlocked”. Back to the lift lobby of a floor directly beneath mine.
I have been circumnavigating my floor via lift and fire exit for more than half an hour now. I decided to give it a break and shout out for help to the next stranger I meet in the lift and the luck to improve their
karma fell on a lady who showed me herself where the security desk was. Man! Did I bless her heavily that day!
From there on it was just answering a million questions of the security officer on what my business was to get to the floor, why I didn’t have an access card yet, who my boss was and what I ate for breakfast. Entry into my work bay with an officer in tow was greeted with bulged eyes and open mouths from people all over the place. Though I felt like a survivor from Lost, my mumbling and awkwardness didn’t really help. I could almost read their thoughts floating around in bubbles –
What the hell?!!
Can she get any dumber?
She managed to get arrested in 3 days of landing here!
All I could do was pocket my seemingly innocent looking phone and dash back to the now over-familiar lift lobby.